Tuesday, December 8

Emerging from a Dark Place


As some of you may know on May 18th of 2014 I suffered a great loss. This sent me into a dark place. A place of confusion, fear, self doubt and depression. That was a big hole that proved very hard to crawl out of. At one point I though I could see the top, but slipped and was surrounded by it all once again. I'm not saying I've overcome all this but the daily dealing with it has become easier. Things look more positive and I'm thinking of the future once again. I had no idea how hard it would be. Few people know the depths I sank to. Coming out and saying this isn't easy either. I've always hid my negative emotions and only
share the good side of things. Now in an attempt to come into my new life I want to share it in this blog once again. 

During the first 9 months or so I stopped sewing/quilting and did little jewelry design. The only thing I felt like doing was drawing, and I did a lot of that. I guess it was a therapy of sorts. I poured out my inner emotions on paper. For months the drawings were in black and white. The drawing below was me missing my little dog, who had to be put down a month prior to my husbands death. Suddenly it was very quite and lonely in the house. 



So in time I started getting used to the empty house, the quite and the loss of my old routines. For a long time I just didn't know what to do with the extra time. I didn't want to create, go places or even think too much. After many months things started to change and new things started taking the place of the old. I am still not as organized as I used to be but working on it. Hopefully restarting my blog and reopening my Etsy shop will give me things to work towards. I know things won't come back to where they were, that life is gone. I do hope to now form a new life and see what it will bring to my future. 

1 comment:

Gene Black said...

Oh my friend, I am so sorry it has been such a rough time. I know from personal experience that you never "get over it" - but you do learn to cope. If you need me to help you - whether it is someone to talk to, cry with, or spur your creative soul....let me know. Email and I will give you my number if you want to call.

Your drawing is wonderful, heartfelt and -yes- it evokes some sadness. Your feelings came through, and that is the gift of a true artist.